the prettiest star

Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge.

Friday, May 13


Those of you lovely people that read this as a regular thing will know that things have been somewhat eventful for me lately. That is me. Other people go through life perfectly happy, just go about their business. They don't seem to get themselves into these ridiculous situations. I would complain if my life was boring, and boring it isn't, but sometimes I think, why me?

Sometimes I think I bring it on myself. As a single girl, you're bound to rack up a number of exs, dates and guys you slept with. And growing up in a small town, and then a student community, you're bound to bump into guys and create these situations. I accept that. As a temperamental driver, I'm bound to run into a few car probs. That, I accept quite willingly. I drink and like to go out, and that too, gets me into situations that I would rather not be in. I am perceptive, and notice things like windows that double as ceiling mirrors. I like to help people out, and I like chatting to people, which is how I end up being asked out by a crim in a police station.

You get the gist? I'm just saying, I realise that certain lifestyle choices have created circumstances that some may find laughable, amusing. In hindsight, they are, who wouldn't laugh that I find myself on dates with gangsters and little men? And, I feel like I shouldn't complain, but seriously. Read my archives. You couldn't make up half the stuff that happens to me.

Like, once I went on a horrendous date with a tiny man. I had to escape. Some weeks later it transpires he dated my friend too. And we see him around campus all the goddam time. There are over 60 000 students in this city. Why see him? On Wednesday, I drove home, car went insane, oh look! Theres my ex, theres all my shit in my car, including several empty bottles and my clothes, my underwear, my life. Oh look, it's a year exactly since I almost died last year. Isn't that the strangest thing?

NO!!! It is not. I am cursed. I don't want to complain. I hate people who moan, but this is where I put my thoughts. If you don't want to read what pisses me off then go and look at something happy. Go and look at cute babies or whatever. I need to vent.

I try and live my life good. I am not mean, I eat fair trade dammit! I am polite, I help if I can. Some things that have hapenned, unhappy childhood, parents split, bad relationships, blah blah blah. It happens to a lot of people. We get over it. But it's too much drama. It's like a soap opera. Always something going wrong, always something. I am honestly finding it hard to be an optimist.

Am I whinging? Yeah, thats probably not a word used anywhere but my area. It means to complain, get with the dialect!

Well. I'll tell you where this all came from. James, my whatever, is coming home tomorrow, and I'm here too, and we have the same friends, and, you know. I can feel it. I can feel the drama just waiting to happen. In my head, I can feel it- 'V___ (When I think I use my full name) might be happy. She might be over this guy and ready to move on. Lets shit all over it!'. I just know. It's too much to ask that I can say Hi, he can say Hi, and we can drink our beer in peace and pretend we never had sex, or the hottest kiss ever, or that I made him eggs on toast. Yeah, I know his phones been broke, or he's been busy, whatever. There are phones in this world. He could have called. I just know it's gonna be awkward. Like the time I STUPIDLY slept with two guys at work (not at the same time, get your mind out the gutter!) and then it was the three of us in the staff room pretending there hadn't been some serious exchanging of fluids going on.

Hell, I don't know what to do. Should I ring up my family in Venezuela and ask them to go to church and pray for me? Should I get some clairvoyant to predict my future and take necessary action? Or should I just grow up and deal? I made my hypothetical bed right? I should lie in my provberial bed?