the prettiest star

Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge.

Thursday, May 12

Someone's watching me...

Yesterday was one of those days. You know? The kind where you reach a point and you don't think you can carry on? Well I had good reason. Not cuz of some guy, or some weight gain, or even cuz I felt sad. No. I almost died yesterday. I'm not shitting you, I had a car accident.

I came off the motorway, and was driving down my road, and then I completely lost control of the car. It swerved all over the road, including the wrong side of the road. I tried to steer, but it was gone so I slammed the brakes on and missed hitting a tree by half a metre. I have never been so scared in my life. If there had been a car coming the other way, or I had stopped a few seconds later, I would have hit something at 60 mph, and would almost certainly be dead or seriously injured.

But theres more. I got out of the car when it hapenned, obviously in a bit of a state. Then my ex pulls up next to me in his car. He saw the whole thing. He calmed me down, sorted some stuff out for me and then left when my friend came to get me in her car. Why was he there? Then I got home and realised it was May 11th. On May 11th last year I crashed my car and wrote it off, again, I almost died. I can't help but read into it.

Anyway, I'm fine, and the car is fine. I need a new wheel, two new tyres and a service. It's either the tracking or the power steering that needs sorting out, but it shouldn't cost too much. If it had hapenned half an hour earlier I would have been on the motorway, going at 90mph, and god knows what would have hapenned then.

I just don't believe the stuff that goes on in my life. I couldn't sleep last night for thinking of all the alternative endings for yesterday. I can't explain it. Should I just not leave my house on May 11th? And whats with my ex being right behind me? Why wasn't there a car coming the other way? It's a busy road. I feel so sick. Does someone want me dead? Or should I be optimistic and assume I'm being watched? But by what? It's all too weird to be coincidence.