the prettiest star

Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge.

Sunday, May 15


I have a horrendous hangover. The kind you only get when you were horrendously drunk the night before. The kind that stays with you all day. It's 4pm and still all I can consume is cranberry juice and ribena. I needed a drink last night, my Mum just got too much. Yesterday, the following situations took place:

1. Me reading a magazine, Mum walks in with her magazine.
Mum: I was just reading this thing about AIDs, as a sexually active young person I think you should take a look.
V: MUM!!!! (hides head in magazine) I don't have AIDs.
Mum: Well, if you're going to have sex you should know about these things.

2. In the supermarket. In front of loads of people.
V: I want to get some cranberry juice.
Mum: Oh do you have cystitis?

3. At the supermarket checkout. My friend Nick is right behind me.
Nick: V, hows things with you and James?
V: Eh, they aren't.
Mum: James? Who's James? You have a BOYFRIEND???
All I hear for the next hour is 'Who's James? What does he do? Is he rich?

Yeah, so maybe I'm being a spoilt bitch, but the lack of car makes me a prisoner in this house and it means I'm never far away from Mum and her boyfriend. So I rang up Rach and suggested she pick me up and take to the pub to get drunk.

I got drunk. I also saw James. His reaction was 'What are you doing here?' Er...I live here fool! and nice to see you too. Then he goes into this big long winded thing about how he lost his phone, couldn't even call his parents, only had the new phone two hours, blah blah blah, whatever. He didn't actually apologise.

So, I drank a hella lot of vodka, and I was smoking, sure sign I was wankered. I don't actually remember that much. I remember talking about handcuffs. I remember an old man laughing at me. I remember falling off my chair. I remember I couldn't walk.

I woke up and my first thought was 'Did I take my makeup off?' I'm such a girl. Turns out I did. Snaps for me. My mouth tasted like a tiny animal spent the night in there. Yum. I was in Jackie's bedroom, which was confusing for about 5 seconds. I went to put my flip flops on and they are destroyed. My designer flip flops shredded! What did I do last night?!

Today I need to have a talk with my Mum. I mean, I have my own house! I have a credit card, a car, I live alone, dammit. I don't need to visit her and be made to feel about 5. Like, I know she says 'You'll be treated like an adult when you act like one', but really. The other day I left a mug on the floor and instead of saying 'Can you put that in the dishwasher?' like a normal person, she goes 'Now where does this go? It doesn't belong on the floor does it?' in a silly voice. Mum. I am bursting with womanhood! I pay my own bills. Let me be!

I love living alone because I can do what I did last night and no ones tuts at me and says alcohol makes you fat. I can buy cranberry juice and not be accused of having a bladder infection. If I walk around in my pyjamas all day I don't get nasty looks. I know all Mums are hard work, but if I hear 'V, when you get married...' one more time I can't be held responsible for my actions.

Okay, I don't want this post to be about my mother. And please, I beg of you, no comments along the lines of 'She's your mother, you should love her for who she is' or 'You're a little bitch'. I can't be doing with it. Yes, she gave birth to me, and for that I am eternally grateful, but I need to do things on my own now.

In fact, I remember James saying last night that he wants to meet her. Why? How strange. I have an observation. I, personally, am really into my clothes. I am really concious of how I look. I know what suits me and I stick to it, with a bit of fashion thrown in. Right now, I'm loving whats in this season, but I know if I wear one of those hippy skirts I'll look about 2' 7" and 50 stone. Some people wear the whole hippy thing and remind me of the characters in 'Little Women'. All big skirts and blouses. Eeek!

What was my point? Fashion. Yes. Well, I hate being seen in the same outfit two times in a row. It takes me forever to get ready. Now every time I see James, he's wearing the same top. Is it just coincidence? I know he owns a lot of tops. But it bugs me. Weird huh? I pointed it out to Rach last night. We agreed we like well- dressed guys.

I was talking to his brother, Rob, who I'm friends with. He told me if I want him I can have him, I just have to chase him. I don't chase. I dunno what to do about this whole situation now. The way I'm thinking now, if he wants me he knows where to come and get it. If not, then he proved that all the good men are either involved or gay or live in some silly place, like London, or France.

Right, time for more cranberry juice.