the prettiest star

Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge.

Monday, May 16

It's over! O-V-A-H!!!!!

I love Kath and Kim.

Today I got a stat counter, and oh my. It’s interesting. One person got here by searching for ‘girls getting pierced’. Nice. And another for ‘jaffa cake calories’. Right. I think it gives just too much info. I know exactly what everyone gets up to on my page! Now I’m scared, cuz if other people have this, they’ll think I’m stalking them cuz when I have nothing to do I pretty much live on the computer. Eeek! Oh, and someone visited here that lives in Peterborough, that’s not far from me, weird.

I think I preferred being ignorant.

Before I forget, everyone go to Mrs Mogul’s site and say hi and vote for her in this blogette thing. She’s wicked and a great writer and deserves to win. Go!

I got my car back!!!! Damn thing cost me £270 so no new shoes for a while. No new nothing actually, it’s about cleaned me out, but it drives so nicely now, sounds like a car not a tank. The mechanic told me what went wrong but I’ve totally forgotten all the words he used. But he did tell me that I do not, in fact drive a Ferrari, I drive a Ford Ka and if I continue to drive it like a Ferrari I will probably end up dead. So I drove like I was taught today. No revving, no racing, no inappropriate gears. I slowed down for corners, stuck to speed limits. Frankly, I’ve almost died twice in that car and I think I’m pushing my luck, so no more caning it down the motorway at 100mph. No, I’m going to be a safe driver now.

So, the first thing I did when I got my car was to drive straight into the city. I met Rach and drank about 10 litres of cranberry juice. I’m hooked. The stuff is addictive! Well my mother will be glad to know I won’t be getting cystitis. It was so good to go to bars, and it was so good catching up with Rach, she’s such a good friend. We had a good bitch about the feh that is our sex lives. Some ugly little man tried to chat me up- what is it with little men? I’m 5’4”, men under 5’9” need not apply, GOT IT???

No offence to British blokes that may read this, but where have all the good guys gone? Rach reckons we should clone Rob. All the guys out tonight were either too young, too old, had odd shoes, looked like perves or were just plain wrong. I’m not settling for David Brent look-alikes, I want a hornbag! And do no men have the ability to buy nice shoes? Cuz for the shoe shops they have in Nottingham, I was sorely disappointed at the amount of Uncle Knobhead white slip ons I was seeing!


ps. I just realised that post is littered with references to British TV. If you don’t watch The Office, Peter Kay or Kath and Kim, then you should. Kath and Kim is Australian. Never mind…..