the prettiest star

Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge.

Monday, April 11

So this is what hapenned in prison...

Okay, so my last proper post caused some controversy, to say the least, but there were some very interesting comments, and I love to be challanged. It got people talking, and that's always better than not talking.

So, I went to Gran Canaria and it wasn't worth the weight loss as I drunk my body weight several times over in cocktails, beer and sangria and frankly I was too pissed to even notice my too-small bikini.

Not much hapenned really. For five days I got pissed, woke up, sunbathed, drank, slept, ate, drank, got pissed..... you know.

There were men in tiny trunks called Raul who kept pulling at my bikini and saying 'quitate lo!'.

There was a bad ass waiter called Sergio who wouldn't let me into his restaurant one night because he thought I was a tramp.

There was a night that I felt it necessary to sing a medlay of Jennifer Lopez songs at a karioke bar. During the rap break in 'Jenny From The Block' I got up on a table and screamed 'Latin pride people! Latin pride! Donde estan los latinos?'. I was joined by a Brazilian woman who may or may not have been born a man and he/she aided me in the singing of 'La Bamba'.

These things really hapenned, I will get the photos up when I get them developed. I did, however, destroy any evidence of the J.Lo/La Bamba episode. Meanwhile you can DIE from jealousy at the photo of my brown legs below (Rach took it on her phone and emailed it to me!) I would show the whole photo, but I don't want barely-clad photos of myself on the internet. It's bad enough that there are entire regions of Gran Canaria I can never return to.

What else? James! That's what else. I did not get with anyone on hols! This is a big achievement for me. For someone renowned for their wit and charm (no, really) and not their sense of fidelity and commitment I was very well behaved considering he's not even my boyfriend or anything. Go me....