the prettiest star

Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge.

Thursday, April 21

Meh.

I am shockingly lazy. In the past 12 hours I have done the following:

Spent 3 hours on MSN discussing the general election with Soph.
Spent 2 hours playing with my flatmates digital cam, trying to get a pic I may or may not post.
Purchased a mini fridge on ebay.
Read every blog I have bookmarked about 50 times. Even the ones I don't like.
Organised the entire contents of my room. Even my food and my laundry.

I have not started the essay I have to hand in at 5pm, which is 5 hours away, and I have a seminar at 1.

I have done this every time I have an essay due. And the funny thing is that I'm getting good grades for exams I don't revise for and essays I write in 2 hours. I just feel so meh. So lacking in motivation.

I have however, lost weight. I've been eating really well now that I am not in the land of bad food. I actually feel healthier. I need to lose a bit more, but I'm glad I've lost the chubby look I was acquiring. I might give my tutor some bollocks about my printer is broken and I'll have to email it to him. I don't even own a printer and I think he knows. Oh dear.

See I'm writing this now and I have a seminar in an hour, I'm still in my pjs. I must get my act together. James is coming up tomorrow and I don't want him to think I'm a total slob. I'm really nervous, cuz he hasn't seen my room, and I dunno. It's hard to explain, but he's going to meet my friends, and it's all a bit AHH.

I think he will be a little scared cuz I'm a total clean freak. A lot of people that see my room are like 'Ooooh you're so organised and clean'. But then James has this obsession with ironing everything. Hmmm.

I always get weird at this stage. I don't like serious. I haven't texted him all week. If I bollocks this up cuz I'm scared or whatever I may ban myself from men. Why can't I just be nice and act bothered that he'll be around this weekend?

I just feel, like I said, so meh about things at the mo. I haven't been out since I got here, haven't made any effort to do work or go to lectures. There's a great guy who likes me but I feel all meh about that too.

And this photo business has me thinking, shall I post it or not?

Okay I am so lacking inspiration. Someone, please, sort me out. Tell me what to do. I think I may be delerious from not sleeping.