the prettiest star

Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge.

Thursday, April 14


I mentioned in my 100 things that I have never been in love before, not properly. I often look back at relationships I was in, and realise I was deeply unhappy. So since my last serious relationship ended (July) I'm really wary about who I let into my life. I would really like to be able to see an ex and not pull weird faces and feel ever so slightly nauseous. So now I've met someone who is getting into boyfriend territory.

I've been holed up at James's pretty much since I got back off holiday. See, my best friend is going out with his older brother so the four of us have been sat around their house, and it's been so nice. I almost don't want to go back to uni. Which brings me to the other thing.

James is starting a job in Wakefield, which is about 20 mins from where I live in Leeds. Yesterday he got his start date fo his new job. It's 3rd May, which is less than 3 weeks and I will still be in uni. So he doesn't know anyone in that area apart from me...

This is a really bitty post, but I just feel a bit weird. Like, I have found nothing wrong with him. I am such a cynic, I always like to find something wrong with a guy, but James is just, well not perfect, but he's great. He doesn't turn into a total arse around his friends, he compliments me, he's great in bed, he's really easy to talk to. And he's going to be living so close to me in 3 weeks!

All the time I have spent with him has been really nice. He makes me smile, and I'm really beginning to like him. He thinks I look great first thing in the morning, he loves my cooking.

I just don't know what to do about it all. I really don't want to give up my single life, but so far he hasn't tried to tie me down. So do I let him enter boyfriend territory or not?

I just re-read this post and it makes no sense. But really, I just cannot deal with being fucked about, and I don't think he would do that. However, I burn easily. I know that I have to have him in my life and I'm tempted to just let things happen, but I don't like being in limbo. I admit it- I like labels.

I'm too scared to ask him what he wants, I'm scared he'll just want something casual, which is fine, but I don't want to open up to him like that. So anyway, I need guidance! What course of action do I take?