the prettiest star

Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge.

Tuesday, March 15

Trust everyone, just don't trust the devil in them.

Before I start, a message for That Girl: your post has had me thinking, actual deep thinking about trust ALL DAY! I even spoke about it to my Mum for a good hour on the phone.

Ok, I'm over the NB I had yesterday, I think I actually went crazy for a bit. But I had a really long sleep and today's been great so far. I had my blood test, and it was the same bitch nurse that stabbed me last time. I got an email from my personal tutor saying there's no way I'll be kicked off the course, so that's cheered me up loads. I had my first day back at Uni today, I had a seminar, and god, it was such a waste of time. I have this tutor who is so far up his own arse he can't see us giving him evils all the time. It took all the energy I had in me to not hurl my copy of Paradise Lost in his face and yell 'Shut up you pretentious loser! Can you not see we don't understand your incessant rambling?'. I just know he spends all his free time smoking cigars and drinking black coffee with his twat friends discussing the greatness of Wordsworth over Coleridge, but really is anyone better than Milton?

Another cool thing is that I have a job, an actual Grown Up's job at that as well, just to last me the holidays. My friend Alison spent all last Christmas working with this temp company, so she sent them my CV and I will be a Grown Up, in a Grown Up suit, no less, as from Friday. It's at home, and I'll be at home for a period of more than a week for the first time since July, which is a bit of a worry, but I have a Grown Up job!!!!

That Girl wrote the most thought-provoking post today, and it got me thinking about how much we trust people. When I moved into my flat, my flatmates could have been anyone, one turned out to be a complete asshole, but seriously, I don't know who they are. Similarly, I'm going to live with two people I will have known for a mere 9 months in June. I love Rach and Ash to bits, but really, I've had this bag of pasta under my bed longer than I've known them.

I have never had a one night stand, mainly because of safety. I don't think it's safe to sleep with a stranger. Yet I would probably sleep with them some weeks later, but does this make them any less threatening? For a couple of years now, the guys I meet tend to be on nights out. Yet I go on dates, have relationships, and I don't know for sure who they are until I've met their friends, or parents, and even then, it's dubious. Yet if I meet someone through a mutual friend, I'm automatically more trusting.

You know sometimes, when you just meet someone, and you kinda click? Is there a difference there? I have always trusted my instincts, and I have had bad instincts about people, and really good instincts, all of which have worked in my favour. Some people are automatically distrusting, but this isn't completely me. As a 19 yr old female living in a city I have to have a level of distrust, as it's a dangerous place, but unless my instincts tell me otherwise, I won't decide if I trust you or not unless I know you better.

If there was a real situation where I met someone off of this blog, I cannot rule out all possibilities. As most of you aren't English, there probably wouldn't be a situation where we would meet, but really, you would know more about me than someone I just met in a bar and went out for a drink with.

Is this scarier or safer?