the prettiest star

Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge.

Thursday, March 31

Is my body too bootylicious?

I feel I should offer some kind of explanation for my previous post. The singing and that.

I was at the gym last night. I like the gym I go to now. They have a mainly male team of fitness instructors/personal trainers/whatever fit men and I fancy them all. The gym has a glass wall which looks onto the swimming pool, which is normally full of uninteresting people, but as I walked into the gym yesterday there was an aquafit session going on. Led by a male instructor. In shorts and he was all wet and yummy. Like a fool I stopped and stared. Another fit man instructor walked past and smiled and said hello. I didn't hear. He had to shake me out of my stupor. Very embarassing. It didn't make me feel any better when he told me that said wet instructor in shorts was single.

I spent the rest of my workout burning with shame.

To make matters worse, as I was leaving the gym, the instructor that embarassed me (we'll call him meanie instructor to avoid confusion and the other one is wet shorts instructor) said that the spinning class were going for a curry and did I want to come to seduce wet shorts instructor? Much to my own suprise, said yes.

So, we are sitting in this curry house, me, a load of super fit spinning people and various instructors. Mean instructor is talking to me. The man is gorgeous, he's just all dark with blue eyes and this body....Mmmm. I get a chance to talk to wet shorts as well, who is also gorgeous, but blond, and I briefly consider a job in fitness. Then the curry house bloke brings this karioke machine, which is odd. Maybe karioke in a chinese, but not an indian. Do you see where this is going?

So a load of pissed people start singing the usual- 'I will survive', 'my way', 'God save the queen' and all that. Mean instructor says 'Come on, lets sing!'. Now I can't sing, really, I'm not afraid to admit that. I cannot sing and I wil not sing in public. Meanie doesn't understand. I tell him I will dance, act, perform magic, hell I'd even rap for him, but singing?

He understands, and then feels it is necessary for him to sing to me. He sings 'Bootylicious', which is not only a girls song, it is a song that I LOVE and now he's ruining it by shaking his (well toned, fit, yummy) booty at me. One by one, everyone puts their food down and observes that yes, he is in fact singing to me and, oh look! He's doing a... what's that? Oh a lap dance! He's singing 'Is my body too bootylicous for you babe?' to me and trying to shag my leg! It feels SO wrong!

So I am, once again in my life, burning with shame. What have I done to make this stupid, yet gorgeous man sing and dance for me? He doesn't stop there. Wet shorts gets up and together they sing an array of Robbie Williams songs.

So at the end of the evening, I'm a little bemused, not only did I find myself out with a gang of fit men, one 'performed' (I think that is the only suitable word) for me and, well, what a random night.