the prettiest star

Laugh now, but one day we'll be in charge.

Sunday, March 13

I need to lose the muffin top.

Is it possible to drop a dress size in 3 weeks?

Me and Rach have decided that cold shitty England and our knackered overdrafts can go to hell and we're going on holiday in three weeks. I'm really looking forward to it, we're going to get a last minute job for about £100. However, I had a mini panic attack when I tried to get in my bikini earlier and realised I am no longer a size 8 (This is UK sizes by the way). Holy crap. What I am going to do?

The normal option, my annual pre-summer gym fest, is out of the question. The last time I went to the gym, one of the highlighted, perma tanned, cockney, gay boy personal trainers told me my legs were too long for my body and that those of 'Latin origin' (his words) should just accept we aren't going to ever be skinny. I don't dare book a new programme to tone up quick in case I get that metrosexual twat telling me it can't be done.

I didn't think I'd need to start the summer tone up until May. I can't be bothered with buying another bikini, and there's none in the shops anyway. Help! I can't be the girl in the too-small bikini that people always laugh at. I'll have a muffin top! What the hell do I do to get from a size 10 to size 8 in a mere 21 days?

On a different note, today I went shopping to Manchester with Ali, and the highlight of the trip was discovering our friend now lives next to a sex shop and the only thing we bought was underwear and 50 flavoured condoms. What does this say about us?